I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
