He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
