Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
