he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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