Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
