"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
