i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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