No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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