playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
