help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
