hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just cropdusted the office
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
