p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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