please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
