I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
