Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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