I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
soo... how was my night?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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