Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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