Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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