if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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