I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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