Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
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