If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
