mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
