belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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