hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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