Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You need Xanax blowdarts
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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