I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
