Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
