there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
