considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
