David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
