Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm eating all of the evidence.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
