i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
