I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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