I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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