This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
