I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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