No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Alive.
So much puke
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
