I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
