I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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