i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
