Small penises have feelings too.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
