Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
