Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
