so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
