I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
