is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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