Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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