It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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