He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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