you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
